Cooking 10-what?

This is a response to Al's "Cooking 101" post below. There are just too many obscurities to leave this one alone. Show of hands...who the heck makes a peanut butter sandwich like that? OK Al, you can put your hand down now. Peanut butter on both pieces of bread? Moist paper towel? "Side by each"? I have eaten a million peanut butter sandwiches and have never turned it into such an obsessive ritual like this. Who the heck is he? Monk?

Here's my abridged version of how to make a real PB&J...take 2 pieces of bread, slap some peanut butter on one piece, slap some jelly on the other, smush them together and eat. Do not moisten any paper towels, do not worry about anything escaping past the crust, do not cut diagonally, and please, do not use esoteric Woonsocket terms like "side by each".