Weeblo

The Daily Weeblo

Friday, June 15, 2007

Jaws

A few months ago, loyal Weeblo readers recall that I dislocated my big toe while doing a pushup. I thought that would be the pinnacle of stupid random injuries.

Until last night.

I prepared for bed around midnight. Put on PJs, said my prayers, made sure my night-light was working, etc. Laid down in bed and let out a big yawn. And my jaw got stuck in the wide-open position. Couldn't shut it. "Ooh, this has the potential to really suck", I thought. Tried to jimmy my jaws to get them to close properly. No dice.

So, I went downstairs, knocked on my cousin's door, and asked if he could take me to the emergency room. Rhode Island Hospital is about five minutes from my house, right down 95. Unfortunately, they're doing evening construction right before the exit to the hospital, so we spent at least 30 minutes in traffic. By this point, the pain was pretty bad, and I was drooling down my chin.

Finally got to the hospital emergency room. They were pretty sympathetic to my situation and got me in a room ASAP. The nurse came in and gave me some "happy juice" to relax the muscles. The doctor then came in, stood on the bed (I was seated on the bed), and moved my jaw around until it popped back in. That wasn't so bad.

So we headed out of the hospital and headed home. Except I had the bright idea to yawn again (what the heck, it was 1 AM, I was full of valium, and I enjoy yawning), and guess what? Jaw dislocated again. So we pulled a U-turn and headed back to the emergency room. The nurse said, "You're back again?!?". The procedure was repeated and all is well. The doctor's recommendation -- "Don't yawn."

Of course, after hearing or seeing the word "yawn", your automatic response is to want to yawn. In fact, you've probably yawned at least three times while reading this post.

When I got home, I knew I had to prevent myself from yawning again, so I found an Ace bandage and wrapped it around my head, from under my jaw to the top of my head. I looked like a wounded Vietnam vet. I did get a pretty good night's sleep though, but had no energy to meet up with Gavin for 6:30 AM golf, which is the real tragedy in all of this. The rest was pretty amusing despite the drool and parched throat.

So, in summary, I've dislocated a big toe and my jaw (twice) in four months. What's funny is that from a fitness/strength aspect, I'm arguably in the best shape of my life. I just happen to have the bone structure of a dead person.

The Daily Weeblo

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