Weeblo

The SEACREST-OUT Exp-hair-iment

My buddy got married in Las Vegas at The Bellagio recently. My wife and I made the trek and had an absolute BLAST. However, there was one incident that occurred that led me to this article...and thus, this experiment.

We were walking through the lobby of The Bellagio, preparing for a long day of walking around The Strip. There were mobs of people everywhere just walking around, checking in, checking out, etc. We walked past a group of guys in their 20's or 30's. They actually resembled what I would probably look like if I were in Vegas with a bunch of buddies...they were jeans and t-shirts, laughing and heckling each other. As my wife and I walked by them, one of them looked at me in passing and yelled out the phrase "SEACREST-OUT!!!" All of the guys started busting out laughing as they passed by me. Jen looked at me and said "I think those guys just made fun of you." We both started cracking up because we thought it was hilarious.

Then I got to thinking...I've probably had the same hairdo for the last 8 years or so. Maybe it's time for a change. I mean, I haven't been to barber or hair dresser in years. I cut my own hair with clippers, grabbing tufts or my own hair and shearing them off haphazardly. Then I just chuck some pomade on it, and I'm off.

Before I got married, I tried going to a "fancy" salon on Newbury Street, thinking they were gonna make me look like a movie star. The haircut was scheduled just before a client meeting. The girl spent about 2 hours cutting my hair (I have no idea what the heck could possibly take that long), she blewdry it, I gave her 80 bucks, and I walked out of that salon looking like Liza Minelli.

I met Al just before the meeting and he took one look at me and started crying laughing. He gave me the nickname "Downwind". It looked as if I had just walked through a wind tunnel backwards. We sat there at a conference table with the client. I tried to compose myself, but had that feeling you get when you know you have something on your face on a first date, except this time it was on my whole head. Al had to sit there and totally ignore my presence. He looked straight ahead and every time he caught a glimpse of me, he started laughing. To this day, that could be the most uncomfortable hour and ten minutes of my life.

So, I am trying something new. I don't have any weddings coming up, nor any reason to have to look respectable. I mean, I sit in this office all day with Gavin and Al. It's not like I have to impress them. Therefore, I have decided I am not going to cut my hair for 4 months. Stay tuned for updated photos of the SEACREST-OUT Exp-hair-iment.

-ck

Month 1
February 2, 2006 - "Sensei it isn't so"

Well, it's been about a month or so, still no haircut. If I don't put any gel or anything in it, I look like Sensei from Karate Kid. With hair like that, you had better be good at Karate. "Fear does not exist in this haircut!" So far, this experiment hasn't annoyed me to the point of wanting to cut it yet. It's actually just getting shaggy for now. We'll see what the next 3 months hold.

Month 2
March 2, 2006 - "Puff the magic hairdo"

Two months down and I'm beginning to think this isn't a very good idea. I may have to get a place with higher ceilings if my hair keeps growing like this. Every morning I look absolutely ridiculous, much to my wife's amusement. After I shower, I still put the old pomade in my hair, but it's just not working like it used to. It makes my hair feel greasy and matted. I have been wearing a winter hat most days in the office to try to keep my weave a bit flatter, but i feel like I am carrying a racoon on my head.

When the hair is matted down, it is almost presentable, but even that's a stretch. If I run my fingers through it, it pretty much stays exactly where my fingers exit, making me look like Heat Miser in "The Year Without a Santa Claus".

I mean, honestly, who the heck is going to take me seriously at a business meeting looking like this...

I'm not giving up yet, but a may have to introduce my hair to some scissors very soon.

Month 3
April 3, 2006 - "Somewhere in between"

I had to get it trimmed. I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't look at is as throwing in the towel, but more of a trim in preparation for Phase 2.

I saw a brief TV program on "Chronicle" that talked about really good places in Boston for a new hairdo. So, I watched attentively and shortly after made an appointment at "Shag" in South Boston. Apparently they specialize in longer "Rock Star" hairstyles, so I figured I'd give them a shot. The haircut went relatively well I think. The girl came by 4 times to sweep the floor as hair kept falling and I still had a lot of hair left. She cut my hair with a razor blade, which I guess is some wacky technique to get rid of thickness, but not length. Hey, what do I know, I've been cutting my own hair for the past 5 years. So this is where I'm at. My brother Mike says I am beginning to look like a 45 year old woman who doesn't take care of herself. We'll just have to see what next month brings.

Month 4
May 11, 2006 - "Unwieldy"

Another month gone by and the experiment continues. To be honest, this was a difficult month. We had a few client meetings and I felt really uncomfortable trying to dress up and act as though I am happy with my shoddy appearance. Truth is, I look pretty horrible and I know it. I keep telling people my hair is the "in-between" stage, however, I've been saying that for the last 3 months or so and I'm running out of excuses as to why I look so dang unkept.

My brother Mike came up with a great idea. When I get to the point where I need to get rid of this mop, I am going to go to a really cheap rundown Unisex salon and get a frosted dye job and a tight perm like my sisters and their friends used to get in 1986. I told the idea to my buddy Danny and he thinks it's the best idea ever. However, he used to have a crush on my sisters, so hopefully he doesn't get any ideas when i get my perm.

So for now, the Rock Star hairdo isn't quite working out the way I had hoped, but it's a bit flattering when people do a double-take thinking i'm someone famous.

Month 5
June 12, 2006 - "I never thought I'd say this"

This month had its share of challenges. I am finding I am not really able to wear a baseball hat any more. My hair sticks straight out and I start looking like I'm wearing one of those gag-hats that has the hair attached to it (which, incidentally, I happen to own). I had my 10-year college reunion from Boston College a few weeks ago and the hair looked pretty bad. But, what the heck. I probably won't see a lot of those people for another 10 years anyway, so I just grinned and beared it (bore it? bored it?).

On the flipside of things, I have officially reached the point where I look back at pictures of me with short hair and think I look strange! I am slowly adjusting to having longer hair. With my newly developed comfort level with this project, I am aiming my stakes a little higher. Now that I have decided to go for the gusto, I have done some research on a number of famous long-locked hairstyles to inspire me throughout the duration of this project. Here is just a sampling of the possibilities...

Month 9
October 17, 2006 - "Phew...what a summer!"

Apologies for the delayed update to the Seacrest Out Exp-hair-iment. We had a bit of a busy summer. Well, that and my camera was on the fritz. The little button that switches it from "camera mode" to "view mode" broke off, so the only way I can use my camera is with the aid of a paperclip. Anyway, that's beside the point.

The hair is still growing. I'm basically on an 8-week haircut schedule with my barberess, Dyan, at Shag (I refuse to say I go to a hairdresser). I think the longer it gets, the easier it's getting to take care of, however, it still looks far from tidy. My best friend Danny is getting married in Hawaii in March. I've been toying around with the idea of getting a Greg Brady perm for a while. This may be the perfect opportunity. However, I can guarantee you won't see me wearing this.

Until next month.